The New Dawn of Humanity ~Katchie Ananda
Katchie Ananda will be at Bhava March 22 & 23 for a Yoga and Dharma Workshop–The Art of Awakening. Read on for her guest post on the power of healthy attachments. xoxoBea
Give me everything mangled and bruised and I will make a light of it to make you weep.
And we will have rain, and we will begin again. ~Deena Metzger
Here we are, in 2014. I have been reflecting on why it is that there is so much anxiety and fear present in all of us, at this time. While there are certainly many reasons for anxiety and fear in our modern hectic world, one reason stands out to me:
We have become a throw away society. Everything is and can be replaced.
Only 50 years ago in Switzerland, any object was built to last for a very long time. Today, things are built, purposefully, NOT to last, so they will need to be replaced in a few years. More profit to be made that way. Unfortunately, this same attitude has spread to how we treat people and other beings as well.
Doesn’t work out with your partner? No problem, there are many more lovers out there in the metaphoric green pasture. How about when you encounter difficulty in your chosen spiritual practice or with your teacher? Easy, there are many paths and other teachers right around the corner. And on it goes. Animals are, of course, ever expendable, as seen in the way we treat them before they end up on our dinner plate.
The thought of being replaced so easily is what gnaws on our insides and creates all this anxiety. Fear that we might be replaced, cast out, or exposed as insignificant causes us to overwork, become overly greedy, lash out, get stressed out, and experience a host of other stressful symptoms.
Maybe one of the reasons the tragedy in Connecticut hit us so hard, is the reminder that our children are not replaceable. It was a reminder of a deep truth:
None of us are replaceable.
We are all like snowflakes, unique and one-time expressions of life’s beauty and mystery. We are, in fact, irreplaceable. Some place we know this is true, even though we do not have access to that truth anymore.
By placing detachment so highly on the list of spiritual values, spirituality has not offered much on this conundrum, either.
I say, be more attached!
You are lucky if you love your partner or a teacher, so much, that when things get difficult you do not simply replace them. If you love them so deeply then replacement shouldn’t present itself as an option. Of course, it is necessary to be aware of abusive relationships. These are absolutely necessary to sever, and the ability to do so will foster another facet of spiritual growth. But that’s another story for another time.
Otherwise, only because of this love and, yes, attachment, will we get through the discomfort of confronting our own, deepest issues and, maybe,
finally move through and heal them.
Sometimes that deep love and attachment to a teacher, lover or mentor helps us to realize that: I, too, am an absolute unique expression of the divine and that I can learn to love myself for the precious One that I am.
From there, we expand and recognize all the incredibly precious and irreplaceable beings and even inanimate objects around us. We realize that every bit of life around us is sacred, and we do everything in our power to protect it.
In acknowledging the preciousness around me, I have taken on a stewardship of a section of the Santa Fe River, just below my house. Every time I go for a walk in the riverbed, I pick up trash and make the immediate environment to my house a more beautiful place. It gives me so much pleasure to restore the riverbed to its natural beauty. Why? Because it is precious and unique, and it is mine to do since I live here now.
I love finding projects that remind me to be attached to where I live and work.
The best part of healthy attachments is the beautiful reward. At some point, there is a natural letting go. Healthy attachment and love, in my opinion, will lead to unconditional love, which is another manifestation of letting go. The release is akin to the mature fruit that simply lets go of its connection to the stem when it is ready. It’s not prematurely ripped away, causing wounds and scars. Similarly, we can trust that when our attachment and love has fully matured, there will be spacious, luminous, unconditional love and equanimity.
Some fun things to do to decrease anxiety and foster healthy attachments:
- If you get a present that is not the right one for you, instead of going back to the store and replacing it, think of who would be the perfect recipient for this gift and then have fun giving it to the right person.
- Tell your lovers, teachers, children and other loved ones that you are attached to them and that they matter to you. My relationship with my husband took a big turn when I stopped saying things during fights like: I don’t think this will work out, maybe I should leave (incidentally my worst fear is to be abandoned myself).
- Be particular about details, even objects like to be treated with respect.
- Making a gift, something that has your sweat (and maybe tears) in it. Give it away, knowing how unique it is because you put yourself into it.
It can be fun and creative to find new ways of healthy attachments and I invite you to enjoy and appreciate them all.
Katchie has well over 20 years of experience as a full-time yoga teacher and trainer, and is certified in Anusara, Jivamukti and Integral yoga, as well as extensively trained in Ashtanga Vinyasa by Richard Freeman.
An avid student of Vipassana Meditation, she has studied closely with Jack Kornfield, her Buddhist mentor and teacher for over 15 years. She has co-taught with Jack and offers retreats and day-longs with senior dharma teacher Wes Nisker at Esalen Institute and Spirit Rock Meditation Center.
When not traveling, she lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with her husband Joshua and dog Leelou.